For Americans outside the Beltway, understanding national politics is often difficult, if not impossible. Mainstream media, politicians, and political talkers have developed their own distortion of American English to obscure, confuse, and mislead anyone who is not inducted into their elite club. Here is a summary of some of the most abused terms, translated into American English.
Some translations are more serious than others. As with everything in national politics, every entry should be taken with a grain or a pound of salt.
Against racism. A movement to reinstate racism, with Marxist connotations.
name of the invoice. A description of roughly the opposite of the actual effect of a law if it is enacted (for example, the Affordable Care Act).
climate change. A marketing phrase used to express the quasi-religious pseudo-scientific belief that humans are the source of all evil on earth.
Communist. An almost completely evolved Democrat.
conservative. Nazi, white supremacist, racist, homophobic, sexist and fanatic. The definition overlaps with that of “Republican” since the Conservatives have been largely purged of the Democratic Party. See also “Republican”.
Critical theory of race. The far left I Ching. Apart from its founding principles and supporters, a theory that has absolutely no connection with Marxism.
black silver. Monetary support for the speech that the left wants to silence.
democracy. Unitary regime by the radical-left wing of the Democratic Party.
Democrat. A useful idiot, with a non-zero chance of evolving into a higher life form (eg, socialist).
Democratic Party. A disorganized collection of useful idiots that provide cover for the far left.
fair. Euphemism for the equality of result promised by communism, but never held, except in death.
extreme. All to the political right of the extreme left.
fair. Anything that favors policies, ideas or people on the left. Compare “more equal” in Farm animal.
fascist. All to the political right of the extreme left. Not to be confused with the National Fascist Party of Benito Mussolini, a left-wing (and anti-Communist) nationalist political party in Italy. See also “Nazi”.
global warming. Past term for climate change.
New green deal. A comprehensive plan to eradicate all evils in America, starting with anyone who works, owns property, consumes food, or uses electricity or petroleum products.
green. Any practice or policy promoted as safe for the environment that actually causes greater environmental damage (for example, wind turbines, solar farms and electric vehicles) than conventional alternatives.
gun control. The belief that a physical object is inherently guilty of violent crimes, especially murder, in the past, present or future.
homophobic. A person who does not fully accept, approve, and promote the gay lifestyle and the gay movement, not to be confused with someone who is afraid of homosexuals or homosexuality.
foreigner in an irregular situation. Future Democratic voter. Term considered discriminatory because it is too specific. The term currently preferred by the left is “undocumented non-citizen”.
insurrection. Riot of right-wingers. Compare “peaceful demonstration”.
judicial reform. Make the courts safe for the left.
Karl Marx. Rush Limbaugh’s Elder Security Chief. Currently without gainful employment, writes Der Sozialismus, Following Das Capital.
Nazi. All to the political right of the extreme left. Not to be confused with Hitler’s National Socialist Party, a far-left (and anti-Communist) nationalist political party that competed with the German Communist Party, another far-left political party, for control of Germany after the First World War.
Journalist. Democratic agent with a signature.
impartial. Without connection with the center or the political right.
non-profit. 1. Tax-exempt organization for the promotion of leftist causes. 2. Right-wing “black money” beneficiary or supplier. See also “black money”.
peaceful demonstration. Riot of left-wing people who regularly damage government and private property and attack police and civilians. Compare “insurrection”. Also called “Mainly peaceful demonstration”.
police officer. Member of an armed occupation force.
racism. Everything Democrats or Leftists don’t like, not to be confused with real discrimination based on race or skin color.
Republican. Nazi, white supremacist, racist, homophobic, sexist and fanatic. See also “conservative”.
marine. See “soldier”.
clever. A policy or product that is inherently so stupid, reckless, uneconomical, or poorly designed that it requires special branding to be sold to the public.
socialist. A partially evolved Democrat.
soldier. 1. Armed agent of US imperialism. 2. Provider of humanitarian aid.
Reform of the Supreme Court. See “judicial reform”.
non-national without papers. Favorite, more roundabout term for “illegal alien”. See “illegal alien”.
United States of America. The source of all the ills in the world.
American flag. A symbol of the oppression of liberty and individual rights historically promoted and defended by the United States across the world.
suppression of voters. Any effort to limit voter fraud, in particular efforts to ensure that only legal voters can vote (e.g. voter identification requirements).
white privilege. An expression used to condemn anything positive associated with the American, Western or Judeo-Christian values of work, self-reliance, self-responsibility, private property and popular sovereignty by which individuals work for improve their own situation, take responsibility for their own actions and govern themselves. Also applied to conservative non-Caucasians.
See also “A Devil’s Dictionary” in “Partisan Donors Hiding Under Charity’s Banner” (2015) by Tom Johnson.
Hat tip: The Devil’s Dictionary (1906) by Ambrose Bierce.